This month: last month

This month, September, is the last of my full-time working career. I’ve decided to retire and start drawing the pension.

It was slightly odd this morning, returning to the office after a break. Normally on such occasions, I experience a mixture of dread and excitement. What crises, cock-ups and dross will be waiting? What can I happily resume or begin? Today felt quite flat and neutral, on the journey and when I got there. It was good to see colleagues again and do the ‘how was your holiday?’ stuff, but the rest of the day was quiet and calm. My email inbox wasn’t choked and there were only a couple of small jobs that absolutely had to be done immediately. No really meaty, continued tasks and no big new enterprises either.

Why? That’s easy to explain. For several months, the end of September has been my target: have it all sorted by then. A key part of the ‘sorting’ has been not to start substantial new activities. So the job has been drying up as things are completed or handed on. There’s still work to do but, frankly, my last full-time month looks likely to be a gentle one. This is both comfortable and uncomfortable. My work ethic has been weakening recently, yet it’s far from gone. Hence the ambivalence.

Not being ready for a full-time life of leisure, I asked my employer for a new part-time contract. After a compulsory one-month gap,  I’ll be starting this at the beginning of November. We’ve identified some worthwhile responsibilities and no doubt we’ll agree a few others before I begin. Work aside, I’m looking forward to greater freedom with how I spend my days and I intend to enjoy myself more. However, I know the main risk is that I’ll let the new job take longer than I’m paid for. Contradictory message to self: relax and be firm!

Enough navel-gazing and angst for now. Time to watch some TV. But it probably won’t be long before I feel compelled to scratch the retirement itch here again. Sigh.